a message on her journey

A dusty road on a sunny afternoon

A tired wind blowing from the West

Rhythmic steps reach no soon

Nor can they stop to rest

And an impending feeling of worthlessness

I feel the unending road under me

Why this ordeal of unendurable stress

When I know my plans will turn on me

Then i saw a flying green leaf

Surprised I asked where you to

Still young, your life has been so brief

Have you not still plenty work to do

She mocked a sway but stood by me

My weary stance perhaps held strong

She agreed to take a message for free

To relieve my burden of a love song

I spoke my heart out to her-

Are you going to the Land of Spar

You will reach with the glorious sun

And see Him, mighty warrior at war

With times of agony, the awesome one.

When you see him give love from me

He will know at once whom you from

Take from him what he gives for me

And talk about how incapable I am.

Tell him how much i long to meet

This journey alone will lead to grave

If not for his embrace so sweet

Death come it'll be too late to save

Come my Love before my feet

Are resting in final bed endness gave.

Hurry little leaf, there comes a gale

Go merry dancing on success sail.

And off she went on her way, i still remember her rhythmic sway.

And off she went on her way, and off she went away.

WHAT/WHO IS A PERSON

I remember reading a poem during me primary school days- Solomon Grundy. It goes like-

Solomon Grundy, born on Monday,

Named on Tuesday, Married on Wednesday,

Took ill on Thursday, worse on Friday,

Died on Saturday, and was buried on Sunday.

So this was how poor Solomon Grundy lived his life. So does this tell us about Solomon as a person? Do we come to know who Solomon was from these four lines? Perhaps we come to know that he lived and died, did what a normal man does. What I am trying to say is that what or who a person is, can be very well understood by the kind of life a person lives, how he is in a society and how he participates in a society.

According to Oxford dictionary, a person is an individual with particular character or tastes, an individual human being. So what decides this individuality? It is the differences between that individual and others around him or her that makes the individual distinct and decides who or what that individual is. The character and tastes decide how that person reacts in various situations and that tells us what role and position that individual has in that society, which largely helps us understand the personality of the person. Well, personality and person are two very distinct and wide terms and though they overlap at some point, they cover a lot of other areas. For example, if a person is very verbose and makes sure that his/her points are put across very clearly and that others agree with him/her, then we can say that he/she is a very assertive person. Similarly, if a person is not very talkative and keeps to himself/herself, then the person is said to be “not very social”.

The interpersonal relations between people tell us how they are. A great thinker once said that if you want to know how a person is, see how he treats his juniors (or inferiors). Also we have heard of the saying that goes- a person is seen by the friends he keeps. So what or who a person is, is decided not only by his character or tastes, but also by the company he keeps and also how he treats others around him, preferably younger people or economically/professionally inferiors. In the movie Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets, the character Professor Dumbledore tells Harry Potter that it is our choices that determine who we are, and not our abilities. Taking from that, I would say that who/what a person is depends on what we want to be as a person, what we choose to see ourselves as, and not merely as what we are capable of doing on the basis of our abilities.

Besides, the society is also an important deciding factor about the development of an individual into a person. The society helps form a distinct identity about him or her. Taking a very simple example, actor Saif Ali Khan would be known as just Saif in Bollywood, and all over the film-crazy India. But at his ancestral house, he will be known as Nawab Pataudi, or, Nawab Saif Ali Khan Pataudi, the heir of Nawab of Pataudi. So, as he goes in different societies, his identity changes, and who he is as a person also changes in these contexts. So, who or what a person is, depends on his company, his behavior towards others, his self-perception, his interpersonal associations and the society.

WHO AM I - an answer w.r.t. Abnormal Psychology

WHO AM I?

The concept “who am I” is like a huge umbrella, it covers areas so diverse and wide that I cannot comprehend their reach. So if I ask myself who I am, or if I seek an answer to it as an answer to someone else’s query, my answer would vary with each context, mood, situation, genre of classification and my psychological and physical condition.

When I am in a mode of self-introspection, I would close my eyes and think about myself and form a theory about myself. But, this theory will also vary on the factors I mentioned above.  Like, for example, now I have had a long day at college and I am tired, I am missing my parents and I found they are busy and cannot speak to me now. So when I close my eyes now and think about who I am, I might get such thoughts – I am a lost person, I do not know what I am doing and what I want from my life, I am not wanted by anyone, I am far from home and lonely; and then, when I have had a happy day, I would close my eyes and might feel such things about myself- I am like free bird, I am sensible and smart, I love all living and I am loved each day, I am going to make a change in this world. But do any of these feelings actually answer the question as to who I am? Maybe no, or maybe yes, to an extent. So, how can I give a near perfect answer to this question?

There is a saying in the bible- “Seek and you shall find it.” And a great philosopher once said that the greatest knowledge is self-knowledge or your awareness about yourself. What is my self-awareness? Is it my sense of seeing myself as being distinct from Other? Is it my awareness of understanding me when I look at a mirror? Again, maybe to an extent, yes! I look at myself in the mirror and say- I am a nineteen year old female, perhaps a bit physically immature for my age, braced teeth, carved brows, full lips and a well-maintained athletic body. But is that all what I am? Why, at certain times I find myself as a learner, a teacher, a bold yet a conservative woman, an achiever, a sacrificial figure, a scientific, yet a religious person…well, is it not the ancient Roman theory of contraiis contraius working within me? So, finally, who am I to me? Or what am I? I can say that I am a cocoon of conflicting aspects of various essences of life co-existing in me; I am a vessel half full, continuously thirsty for more life and energy-both positive and negative.

So then, who am I to others? Perhaps this is a question constantly asked by me or even by others. Often people ask – “who are you?” or I ask “who am I to you”. For the latter question, the answer will keep changing depending on the person addressed, but for the former question, perhaps these lines would convey more-

Daughter of Eve, born of love and pain,

I, a woman, have numerous chains

To my loved ones I am adorable queen

To others I am a mystery unseen

Unseen because none that I ever met

Are bereft my love and graceful net

Powerful, a home of wondrous dreams

A secret sacred ground of fertile streams

A potential nurturer of new life within

I am a woman, a mother in being.

My arms ever-open to receive them

Children lost in ways surly, insolent.

Maybe, to say who I am would have to write a book and still I would miss something. So, I would like to conclude my assignment saying that I am to each person what I think I am and also what I want them to think of me. Also how I see them makes me what I am in their eyes. So the concept of who I am depends also on the mutual relationship I share with others because others act as mirrors to tell us who and what we are.

WOMEN’S DAY CENTENARY

8th march 2011. commemorating the 100th anniversary of the first Women's Day celebration and also celebrating women all over the world today. Another important day joined the pages of history. What did we make of it? Apart from sending a few text messages which gave the telecom industries and other communication business houses a boost in their income, what have we done to realize the original cause of the Women's Day celebration-the cause which tells us to press for various demands made by women, to bring about a change in the status of women, to work for women-rights.

I guess the answer is clear. We live in a world of polarities, the two poles being one of the privileged, educated, loved and care-for section of women, and the other section deprived of all these. One section who become the president of the world's largest democracy and the other section which is forced to trade their bodies for livelihood. Take India this year as an example. At one level, to mark Women's Day, Air India, for the second consecutive year, operated on Monday night an ultra long haul flight from Delhi to Toronto, with an all-woman crew. On the other hand, a survey by ICRW topped Indian men as most indulgent in sex-violence and in most of these cases, women are suppressed and the matter never sees light.

What an ideal Women's Day would be is when thee latter extremity (of the two poles mentioned) joins the former section and when the man-woman or society-woman relationship would cease to be that of a convict-victim, and when "woman" will cease to be seen as just a derivative of "man".

U ASK,I REPLY. part 1

What are the things that make my life great?

I live a life too simple and far too straight

If you ask me to freeze a moment I cherish

I do not think I can fulfill your naïve wish

Coz my days are numbered I always knew

So I made the most of it, most with you

And now you want me to put aside a part

Of tender moments held close to my heart

Time and again you want me to state

What are the things that make my life great..

What are the thoughts that make me feel innocent?

A statement or a claim of me being indecent

That makes you turn in your grave- cold bed

Slime up to your neck and you call me the dead

I never moved from where you left me then

And you say my ways are surly, insolent

You have violated and crossed all barriers of my love

But somehow I was called a prying pathetic perv

And the unceasing query bothering u so constant

What are the thoughts that make me feel innocent..

dowry "evergreen"

I was reading national news in yahoo news page and i came across this news put up barely an hour ago. On December 7, a woman in Korba district of Chhattisgarh tried to burn her husband alive. She was arrested and what she said in her defense was that she was "fed up of her husband"!
I really could not push what she said to the back of my brain. To be so fed up of a person to try and burn him/her alive? And that too your husband? Another important fact in this case was that the wife had filed a case of dowry harassment against her husband but the matter was dissolved between them...the story continues.


Curious about dowry cases, i typed dowry in Google and clicked on news and a long list of dowry cases appeared; my eyes were drawn to dates and the number of pages. Disgustingly, there was a dowry case put on Google almost every single day and the list goes on and on, starting from a dowry case on the very day i searched where a village sarpanch in punjab was arrested in dowry case. And just think that hundreds of dowry incidents go unheard.
A country that claims itself to be a fast developing nation, is India moving to the developed and urban side for the better, or are the ghosts of our "so-called" uneducated/rural social evils lingering about and mutating into an urban beast with us and sinking deeper into us?


Being born and brought up in a small town in Jharkhand, i never understood the "why" behind the female foeticide n female infanticide cases my mother and her colleagues used to talk about; probably because my family setup was very different, or atleast i believed it to be so. But after getting a bigger picture of life, i understood that dowry system is one of the root causes of the biased gender ratio. And i also understood that dowry thrives in the urban, educated India too.
http://in.news.yahoo.com/20/20101207/1416/tnl-woman-held-for-trying-to-set-ablaze_1.html

SRINAGAR : in buzz..

http://beta.in.news.yahoo.com/video/national-22564751/school-bus-torched-in-srinagar-to-enforce-shutdown-23330991.html

A video showing a school bus torched by a mob in Old City area of Srinagar on Saturday, 4 December, 2010, to enforce a shutdown called by hard-line Hurriyat leader Syed Ali Shah Geelani across the Kashmir valley.

Srinagar has been in news lately for all wrong reasons and the violence in the area has aggravated the condition of the civilians. As is evident from the incident of a school bus being torched down, educational sector is one of the worst-affected areas.

A close friend, Mohammad Saquib, a resident of Kashmir had a lot to say about the "desperate times" in the Kashmir valley. He says,

"To think what really cajoled the youth in Kashmir to pelt stones, knowing the nitty-gritty of its outcome, you could be booked under the draconian law PSA( public safety act) or put behind the bars on an imbecile traitor's nod. Then what brings them on streets and makes them go to such an extreme of stone-pelting? Their attires do not show signs of poverty. everything has a cause , and everything does not have an ostracized inception.

In the nascent vale of Kashmir, upheaval is old and grave. It is the aga-saga of any nation that aspires to be freed and given natural liberation, as bestowed by Almighty Allah. Whatever happened in the nineties showed the willingness  and need of Kashmir to oust its territory from the clutches of an illegitimate rule. However, by mere dint of force there was an achievement, the short lull made it possible for the movement to be passed on to the next generation.


Many analysts on Kashmir thought the silent period to be an acceptance to integrate with the state of India, but the Amarnath land issue provided the needed vent for the youth who had been waiting to erupt,like a dormant volcano. The new generation was harassed and even traumatized by the presence of security forces in almost all corners of the vale, alienated and deprived of the right to free expression. It was evident that uprise was inevitable, and when it erupted, a new history was written. From the alleys of downtown Srinagar. North Kashmir and old town Anantnag proved catalytic for the movement to grrow.  2010 uprising was spontaneous and of a paradigm shift to how seriously the new generation took to streets demanding their aspirations. Every new killing saw the number of protests increasing and protest took a new mode. Facebook, YouTube, Twitter and many other social networking sites became the medium for Kashmiri youth to express their anger and put forth their views to disseminate throughout the world. State took a new radical approach by arresting Facebook users  to curb the protests on net. Curfews and crackdown on the youth were devised to bolt and frustrate people so that willingness could be melted down. As hitherto, one should appreciate the resilience shown by the people in Kashmir. Atleast there is no tosy-turvy change in the people for the mundane gains, as the aftermath of 2008 movement had proved."


When Saquib messaged his article to me in answer to my questions on what he had to say about unrest in Kashmir vale, i told him that i will have to cut-short the article as it was exhaustive. But after re-reading his article, i could not find anything that could be left out of Saquib's voice. It is the voice of one among the youth who rise to revolt against the atrocities faced by their people. Is it not time that the nation joins these voices as a whole?

painful blossoms contd.

In reply to the comments i received on my post "painful blossoms", i would like to put forward a few ideas that can be implemented.


First thing is that the number of events should be increased and the criteria should be broadened. as i said in my previous post, sports events should be included in the grading system. i m not saying that sports should be added as a part of blossoms, but that the year-round activity should be taken into account as it is a matter of grades.
Also activities like Darpan participation, Silhouette prizes, etc. should be taken into account. the street theater we did last year deserved more than just 1 day of teachers saying "brilliant performance." forget grades, we did not even get certificates as we were promised(we were the winners).


Blossoms should be more of a 1-day talent show where the winners of various events show off. the literary event winners can have a chance to put on their works on university blog or something likewise. and the photography and poster events can have an exhibition.


if the argument is that Blossoms is an opportunity to develop multiple talents, then the Grade-factor should be eliminated from it, and it should be made an adventurous event, encouraging students to explore their talents in unfamiliar domains.

blossoms- in action : in buzz....

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=476501682247&set=a.476501372247.266820.617277247
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=476501957247&set=a.476501372247.266820.617277247
GROUP DANCE - BLOSSOMS'10 IMAGES (images from anu philip's album, facebook)
Still from the on-stage event ( group dance) by BA students who were the winners of the event, held on Wednesday, the 1st of December, 2010 at the mini auditorium, Christ University, Bangalore.

"select a theme for your blog."......."ok ma'am."

I created this blog to be my voice, so that i could type out whatever i feel and thus ease that frustration in me which is a result of lack of kind and empathetic ears.....

Guess even this wish will remain undone. since i already had a blog, i did not create another one for my new media assignment. sadly, now i have to find a theme for my thoughts. guess i can no longer call my blog my voice....rather, it is to become a report of what happens around that makes news.

maybe, what i can do is, write what happens in campus, in my immediate vicinity. i shall write what the air is buzzing with in my surrounding....be it in Christ, or in SG Palya, or in my hostel......and i shall call it.....IN BUZZ.....

dill waalon ki dilli indeed!!

Had an awsome tour. went to ajmer for a tournament and had a nice time. we couldn't get a direct train, so had to go via chennai n delhi....

while in delhi, we went shopping and sight seeing. saw india gate and purana quila.

  

This is the front view of purana quila... it's amazing...beautiful...

but trust me....we'll remember this place for something else.... the lush green lawns of the excavated fort full of couples making out...lolz.

the 5 minute walk we took along the lawns was very embarassing (n entertaining). some places u couldn't even make out that there were 2 and not 1 person sitting under a tree...

somehow i felt this was a disgrace to the monument. i will leave other things to another time...but for dilli's dill waale.......GET A ROOM GUYS!!!

I bet the emperor would hav had them hung for this behaviour at those times.

WHAT GOOD...???

The shore was close never, to see

A place to put my soul at peace.

My canoe full of fruits of love,

But not a soul to share it with me.

What good those fruits without a mate?

What good this world which put me to hate?

Yet again, I see the lady luck

Pausing and teasing me, but,

Gospel taught me “forgive and be”

There I let her go, mocking free.

What good the wounded soul she made?

What good a heart which is but, dead.

It is too late to turn my back now

And seek the shelter of ignorance

Rattled within by wicked worldly howls

That silences my humble penitence.

What good my efforts to return to love?

What good who left me for realm above?

my life....as rainbow rays..

Now at sunset I am bound to think of days

Cluttered at my memory’s evergreen bays,

Where I spent moments of mirth n gloom

Their hues shine patterned as rainbow rays

The ripe gift of love I remember as Red

From birth to youth for me it jeweled.

The Creator, caretakers and caregiver and all,

In them, my love blossomed and dwelled.

Yet came the days of Orange sufferings.

I braved the times of merciless tidings.

When all left me to fight my life alone,

I well chose the path and kept following.

Look back and I see the sunny Yellow smiles,

Careless and brave, playful childhood flies

Naughty, wasn’t I? The Mischief-Queen,

When oceans the bottom, and limit the skies.

How well I heed those fruitful Green times,

Where life blossomed, brought new rhymes.

Of birth, of joy that my children sang,

And fertile my womb brought great smiles.

Then how could days of Blue hide forever?

Filled each day like a Christmas dinner.

Roast and baked my all with me,

Left all sorrow and felt cheer like never.

Came here there Indigo days of tears,

Loss as great not told by Shakespeare.

I felt how low man could be, I was too,

But they gave me ever valuable peers.

When I have lived a Violet royal life,

Tread both on flowers and edge of knife.

Learnt lessons worth more than priceless,

Proud I lived with honor and not strife.

My life though not as great as the Globe’s plays

Still characters did do their part in best ways.

And there I spent moments of mirth n gloom

Whose hues shine patterned as rainbow rays.

hmmm

BINGO!!!!.....got my hall ticket...
nw all i have to do is.....study...:)

christ university buggers

i need to vent out my frustration!!!...............*********
christ university buggers....
for a simple thing like attendance update....they will make u run around the campus the whole day....by the end of it...u miss more classes n have to go behind them begging again.....
Losers!
today they made me run around coz my holistic education online exam had not been registered apparently...
to find one mr.vikram i spent my whole lunch running round the campus.....after tht they say he'll b available after 4pm!!!!!........
had to take test at 4...n guess wht.......the system is not accepting my second atempt.
apparently there was some mistake in the colleg system..
THOSE A****ES MADE ME RUN AROUND N SHOUTED AT ME FOR NO FAULT OF MINE....

N I WILL NOT WRITE MY SEM EXAMS IF THEY R UNABLE TO RIGHT THE WHOLE THING AGAIN.....m jst so done with CHRIST UNIVERSITY........

Ok...i know this out of context....
i wanted to be an athelete.....but looking at this pic of guest atheletes in The Hindu front page....
i understood y God did not make an athelete of me.....
lolz.....they look intimaidating.

i met him, i liked him.....and i wantd to win him
but i knew for so thinking i was wrong.
coz love is not winning...its not a whim
of sudden passion, but a lamp burnt long
enough to warm and melt from within
and make it loud, bold and strong.

maybe it took me too long to realize
that and i took it all for granted
and thought what he most prized
was me.but my love tree had a stunted
growth with nothing that could revitalize
the broken boughs,fallen i fainted.

but the irony is........i dont want to come to senses
i dont want to leave all behind
i know for me there is no bed of roses
i m ready to bear, i no longer mind.

there is something about friends that awes me to silence....
is it the unconscious love...or care...or a feeling that u kno...
even if u close ur eyes, they will b ur eyes
even if u shut ur mouth, they'll b ur voice...
even when u walk away, they will still b nice..
even if they hav to fall, they'll make u rise...
ALL THESE YEARS I HAV MISSED A LOT...
I HAV MISSED LIFE...ITS MEANING..
COZ I HAV MISSED MOMENTS I CUD HAV BEEN WID MY FRNDS.........
i regret............i miss u........

i have to say........

Looking into your eyes,
I see a new day rising.
D flecks of past brightened twice,
....or is it wisdom u r hiding?

Each line that crosses ur face,
well tread by my eyes each day.
again i still travel those ways
lest the memories go away.

ur lips an endless ocean
i long to swim across there
to reach the zenith with u again
n taste d sweet poison u bear

will u not let me drink ur passion
and step up to my dance of love
join me in my beautiful pain
and let me dig love treasure trove...

painful blossoms.

Christ follows a strict calendar and according to it the Blossoms season is on. Blossoms is the annual event where Christites pariticiate (it is compulsory to participate in 1 event) and compete and are graded on the basis of their performances.

what is confusing is why do people who already take part in extra-curricular activities (especially sports) have the same compulsion and that too when there are no sporting events.

besides, if it is a "grade business" then why are sports people not given grades, as teams like the basketball and football teams..and others too, practice and toil throughout the year.